A little history lesson

"You know, " Finnegan announced during breakfast," Corgis are descended from the Greek god Hephaestus."
His human stopped stirring cream into her coffee, "Beg pardon?"
"Just thought you might be interested...with your love of history and all."
"He was the god of fire. What does that have to do with your breed?"
"Fire? Nothing at all. Do you want to know the story?"
She sighed and pushed the coffee mug aside. Clearly this was going somewhere.
"Should I be taking notes?"
"You're the writer. You might want to...it's pretty interesting stuff. Go get your notebook and pen, I can wait." He began licking himself, chubby hind leg pointing skyward like a gymnast.
"Such flexibility. Perhaps you are an Olympian," She quipped.
He paused, peeking at her from beneath his leg with one of those unfathomable expressions. She got the hint and went and fetched notebook and pen. Once she was settled back in her chair,  he plopped down his leg and began waddling back and forth across the living room carpet as any proper orator.
"Hephaestus was having trouble with his wife, Aphrodite. She was fooling around with Ares and Heph was jealous. So he was wandering about Lemnos one day feeling all sorry for himself and came across a very pretty maiden herding her beautiful white geese to market. So he did what any self-respecting male god would do...."
"He had his way with her?"
"Quite. And she conceived a child. When it was born it was a beautiful boy with rather large ears, like his daddy."
"Large ears."
"Yes. Hephaestus was known for his protuberant ears!"
"He was known for his lameness."
Finnegan sat. He stared. He waited. She could hear him thinking the word "smartass".
She grinned, "Go ahead."
"So the maiden blabbed about the baby's father to all her girlfriends who told all their girlfriends and a few goats. Poor goats. Humans were always confiding in them. The goats found it irritating. They just wanted to do goaty things like nibble grass and poop and make cheese. Stuff like that."
"Indeed.Goaty things," Her eyebrows lifted.
"But in those days no human could really keep a secret from the gods. One of the goats climbed up Mt. Olympus and gossiped. Aphrodite found out and flew into a rage vowing to smite the child on the rocks...or burn it in her husband's forge...or have Zeus turn it into a cactus or something like that."
"Do you have footnotes for any of this?"
"Don't interrupt. Hephaestus, hearing of Aphrodite's anger through the same godly gossip grapevine, hurried off and found the girl and her baby and immediately turned the child into a Corgi! So when Aphrodite showed up all hammers and tongs, there was nothing more than a very pretty girl and her dog herding a bunch of geese in a meadow. And that is how the Corgi became known as both a herding dog and a descendant of a Greek god."
"Wait. There's always more to these stories. Did Aphrodite do anything?"
"Oh. She turned the girl into a boulder."
"A boulder."
"Yes. But it's okay. The girl was a bit of a flibbertigibbet. No one is even certain if she noticed. Hephaestus brought the dog to live with him at his forge. He made beautiful golden collars for it and lavished it with attention. The other gods became so envious of the devotion the Corgi showed to Hephaestus that they all started creating dogs of their own. That's why we're known as Dogs. God backwards and all that. The proverbial joke on mankind. It's true. We are descended from the Olympians. Which is why I think you might start feeding me something a bit more...god-like. This kibble crap isn't fit for any living creature."
"Oh. I see. And I should be feeding you roast oxen? Grapes? Wine?"
"Roast oxen would be a fine start. But no grapes. I dislike grapes. Maybe a bit of melon though....wrapped in some prosciutto..."
"I see," She flipped the notebook shut. "Who taught you this history of the Corgi?"
"Oh. I read it on the internet."
He watched in disbelief as his human sauntered out of the room laughing.
"I mean it about the kibble!" He barked after her.