And now for the interpretative part of the show:
If you find yourself among a group of excited corgi owners, it's handy to be able to translate what the hell they are saying. So here's Finnegan's short list of some common terms used in Corgi-Speak.
Corgum: A pack of corgis. If you find yourself amid a corgum, be certain you do not have a peanut butter cookie anywhere upon your person. They will take you down and lick you. At which point you will require a rain poncho.
Corgi-Nation: A wild, wonderful pack of corgi owners devoted to all aspects of this breed.
Derp: The Derp is the googly facial expression corgis get when they are completely relaxed and happy. It includes the sideways lolling tongue, shiny, crazy, I-don't need-caffeine googly eyes, and a wide smile. It has been spotted on an upside down corgi from time to time. Snap a photo. This is also referred to as "derping" and "derpy".
Drummies: From the side, a corgi's hind legs resemble turkey drumsticks, hence "Drummies". (Because corgi owners must amuse-ify a word before they will commit it to corgi-speak.)
Fluffy: This is one hirsute corgi. A corgi so fluffy that an entire fall lineup of sweaters could be knitted from a single shedding. Plus, it's very pretty. Corgi owners love to see a stumpy fluffy sashaying down the avenue like she owns it.
Floofeh Pants: A corgi with an especially fluffy butt. The rest of him may not qualify as "Fluffy" so his cute butt gets its own designation. Also referred to as "Fluffeh", because it's just more fun to say it this way.
Frap: Frequent Random Acts of Play. When used as a verb one says "Finnegan is frapping in circles around the kitchen." If your corgi is frapping, you must either join in regardless of the stares of concerned citizens, or you must run for the hills. There are no other options.
Mind-Meld: The corgi mind-meld is a stare so persistent, so insistent, so laser-beam focused that it puts german shepherds to shame. Really. You will do what the corgi wants. No questions asked. (There is some wild speculation that George Lucas might have used the corgi mind-meld as the inspiration for the Jedi Mind Trick. But we haven't been able to confirm this. It would be cool, though.)
Momo: Corgi owners in Japan have been heard referring to their corgi's plump little bottoms as "momo" because of their resemblance to peaches. Finnegan gives great momo. See photo below.
Nubbin: The widget of a tail on many corgis. See photo above. One difference between a Cardigan corgi and a Pembroke corgi is that Cardigans have a tail and Pembrokes often do not because it was docked or they were born without one. More corgi owners are now opting to leave the tails intact, which we think is a wonderful idea. Confused? Think of it in clothing terms: a Cardigan has a sleeve (tail) and a Pembroke is sleeveless (nubbin tail).
Upright: A human. Corgis keep uprights as pets. Uprights are taught useful tricks such as giving the corgi treats, chesties (chest scratches to make their hind leg thump super fast), and belly rubs. Uprights are responsible for making certain that corgis get the choicest spot on the bed and that they are tucked in each night. Uprights are required to engage in random games of Monster, where they must chase the corgi throughout their home for no apparent reason. Corgis also like to practice their mad herding skills upon their Uprights. Nothing is more fun than pushing an Upright into a wall when she is carrying a hot cup of coffee. Uprights are required to drive the corgi places so he can get his window sniffs. They must walk the corgi in beautiful meadows so he can hunt for organic snacks like kitty poo and allow him to roll in dead, smelly things. And Uprights are under strict orders to never, ever allow the vet to use a thermometer.
Finnegan and his Upright hope you have enjoyed this brief lesson in Corgi-Speak. Go forth and frap freely! And someone call George Lucas and ask him about that whole Jedi Mind Trick thingy, would ya? Finnegan thinks it would up his cool quotient. Well, he also has a thing for Wookies, but we won't get into that here.
