Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Feeling Wiggly.

"Wanting to be other than where you are - who cursed you like that? Break that spell." - quote from A Year With Hafiz.

"Human woman, what are you thinking about?"
"Well, something unexpected happened today."
"What?"
"A new friend told me that she hated her cushy job and envied me the career path I have chosen."
"Wouldn't most humans secretly love to be envied?"
She smiled down at her pup. His honesty made for the best possible conversations.

"Yes. I think there would be some people who would like to be envied. It would make them feel justified and, frankly, a little important."
"But you didn't have that reaction?"
"No. I thought I should...but instead I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her that I would help her escape those golden handcuffs and go after her dream life."
Finnegan sat at her feet. "But you didn't tell her that, did you?"
"No. I hesitated. I won't make a promise I cannot keep."

"Good. A promise not kept is just as bad as an outright lie. Well, to a dog anyway."
"And to a human." 
Sighing, she reached into her pocket and found a piece of peanut butter cookie. She gave it to Finnegan, smiling as she watched happiness make him wiggly. Why couldn't all people be wiggly? She wondered. And how could she help her friend be brave enough to stop dreaming and start doing? There were so many people with talent and enthusiasm who found themselves in great paying jobs. But the jobs were paying for lives they didn't actually want to be living. No wiggling. No happiness. Just jobs that felt like jail cells, padded with dollar signs. And here she was at rock bottom, and another human, living comfortably, envied her for the pieces of the ladder she was hammering together. A ladder she was going to use to climb into the life she was determined to live. It was an unexpected moment, seeing herself through the lens of someone else's perspective. She had never considered that the view might be so positive. It was a gift she knew she would carry about with her for a very long time. Maybe forever. It was a gift she knew that someday, she would be able to share with another. 
"You're smiling, " Finnegan observed, hoping for  another cookie.
"Yes. I'm feeling wiggly."

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